Humans are social beings, and we all love to be around people. Some of us are introverted and prefer dosed communication, while extraverts tend to have more energy to be social on overall. One thing is sure: we need bonds with other beings to feel well.
Therefore, friendships are significant as they help you develop, and they help you to find support when you need it. Sometimes though, friendship seems to be close to slipping away. There can be multiple causes for this. However, today we’re going to take a look at the following tips to help you restore a (close to) lost friendship.**
Make a move
While you may be waiting for the other person to contact you, you won’t rekindle an old friend if you are not willing to make the first move as well. Just sending a message asking how they are doing may spark a new conversation between the two of you. You don’t immediately need to have an hour-long discussion, just a brief exchange is the first step already.
Share old memories together
Once you’ve established a bit of contact. You can ask to meet up for a drink or lunch. It’s a neutral environment, and it will allow you to talk about the things you used to do together. Maybe you’ve once gone on a long road trip through Europe, or perhaps you once snuck into the VIP area of a concert hall together. Reminiscing about the old days and laughing about all the stupid things you did back then can really reignite the flame of your friendship.
What was the reason you ceased contact? Did something happen that caused you to drift apart? Were there arguments? In either way, apologizing and showing remorse can open up the door towards a new future together. Even when you were not at fault, or no one was, apologizing shows that you care. It also shows that you feel bad about not having contact as often as you used to do. You shouldn’t lose a friendship just because you’re afraid of saying sorry.
Another way to apologize is by surprising them with the unexpected. Maybe you found tickets to a concert of their favorite band, or you baked a cake in remembrance of their pet’s anniversary. Do something fun, and expect nothing in return. Being together and laughing together is truly the best medicine there is. Think back to all the things they like, what makes them laugh, and what you think they’ll appreciate. Do something that you know will make them laugh. If you have a long-distance friendship, you could send them an unexpected YouTube video without context. You could also (if your relationship with them and your age allow it) book a plane ticket and pay them a surprise visit.
Embrace the fact that they’ve changed
Chances are that if you became friends during the middle- or high school, that you are now two completely different people. That doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends anymore. While you’ve both grown as human beings, there will still be traits, interests, or other things that connect you. You can try to resist the changes you’ve both been through, but that will only draw you apart. Knowing and accepting that people change will make it easier to adapt and adjust your friendship level accordingly.
Try to get to know them again, as if they were a whole new person you’ve just met. Ask them about their current interests, personal life, what their dreams are, and what they are looking for in another friend. Don’t try to change them. Instead, share your changes too.
Create new memories together
While reminiscing over old memories is a great way to connect to an old friend, there is nothing better than creating new memories to think back to in a few years. Invite them to join you on a city trip or hiking trip and explore new things together. You could also invite them over for a sleepover movie night as if you were teenagers again. Buy a six-pack of soda and stock in on bags of chips and popcorn and let the movie marathons begin! You could also invite them for an online game while you skype if you live far away from each other.
When you create new memories together, you create a connection to one another that nobody else has. It’s something between the two of you, and that strengthens bonds.
Once you rekindled your friendship, you must keep the friendship alive. Find out what kind of maintenance your bond needs. Some relations are low maintenance. This means that they don’t require a lot of effort/activities to stay strong. Other relationships are high maintenance. You need to put more effort into hanging out, texting, and doing exciting things together to keep your friendship alive.
Send them a text every now and then, call them, or use a video chat if you can’t hang out. Try to make time for them at least once every month. If your friendship was mainly online, you could plan to meet up during an upcoming holiday. Showing that you care doesn’t have to be hard at all, and it does wonders.
Of course, people change, and sometimes a friendship just dissolves when people take a different path in life. That happens too and it’s okay for that to happen. However, as long as you are both in a position in which you can remain friends, there should be no reason for you to lose contact. With the help of the above tips, you can rekindle the friendship you thought you lost. Show effort, and they will do the same. Go for it and good luck!