People have been flirting for ages, even before the start of the internet. However, with our advanced technology nowadays, flirting has become easier than ever. You can quickly meet strangers online to meet up with, flirt with, or just to talk.
However, you can’t expect someone to be instantly interested in you, you need to put a bit of effort into that. Many relationships start with mutual flirting, whether they are sexual of nature or romantic. Today, we have collected a few tips for you on how to flirt online. Whether you’re new to the scene or want to refresh your memory: you’ve come to the right place!
“Did it hurt?”
“Did what hurt?”
“When you fell from heaven?”
You’ve probably heard this line before. The same goes for millions of others. It’s not a unique line anymore, and it’s actually gotten quite cheesy over time. If you want to impress someone you like, you need to be unique. Show them that you’re really talking to them, rather than sending out the same message to 10 others.
Being unique starts with looking at their profile. If you’re on a dating site, this person has probably written down something about themselves. Use this information to create a personal message. If your love-interest is into horses, you can ask them about their favorite breed, or how they got into horses, to begin with.
If you’re good at story-telling, you could also come up with an interactive story. Give your love-interest something they feel like they have to reply to, to find out what will happen next. Create a character, like a dog or a cat, and make your love-interest pick one out of two options every time. Eventually, you can ask for their number or a date.
Some people enjoy playing hard to get, but others don’t enjoy following them on that path. When you want something, go for it. There is a reason you’re looking to flirt with this person, so let them know!
If you’re only looking for casual hook-ups, while they are looking for a long-term relationship, you are probably not compatible. It’s better to let them know beforehand than to break off a month-long conversation after you find out you’re not looking for the same things.
Being transparent also means that you need to be honest. If someone asks to meet up and you are not into them, or not even looking to meet up, you should tell them ‘no’ rather than ‘we’ll see,’ or ‘maybe.’ This saves you both time. Giving a flirty ‘maybe’ to the question whether you’ll join them in the bedroom should be no problem though, as long as you are sure of yourself.
While it’s sexy to flirt online, you need to be able to set boundaries. If one of you doesn’t want to go as far as the other, flirting can quickly become creepy. You can still set boundaries while being sexy. If your conversational partner moves onto talking about all the things they want to do with you in the bedroom, you can simply say, “Let’s save this topic for another moment.”
By doing that, you’ve shown that you are still interested in them, but not to have a conversation like that yet. However, if the other person pushes through, it can be a sign of how they are in real life. Treat this behavior as a red flag and stick to your boundaries. Warn them that you will cease contact if they continue to violate your boundaries and block them if they still push through.
Your safety is more important than flirting online. There are plenty of people willing to flirt within your boundaries, so it’s better to move on to find someone that suits you better.
No matter how much you like them, you shouldn’t share every single detail about yourself during your online conversations. There are two reasons behind this.
First of all, when you already tell your conversation partner everything about yourself online, there is nothing new to talk about when you meet up. When you don’t instantly reveal everything about yourself, you create a mysterious atmosphere around you, leaving them wanting more.
Secondly, what if the other person had ill intentions? Or what if things just don’t work out? When you’ve told them everything, there is always a small chance that this person uses this information against you to get what they want. This is most often done through nudes that people send. Therefore, it’s important not to send revealing photos to people you don’t know/trust. And if you do, try to remain unrecognizable.
Telling someone everything means that they know a lot about you, even when you cease contact. In most cases, nothing happens when you break it off. Still, it’s essential to remain mysterious until you are both ready to commit to a full relationship.
Many people focus on the sexy aspect of flirting but completely forget the most important thing: listening. If you want to know what your partner’s turn-offs and turn-ons are, you need to carefully listen to what they say (or write, in this case).
Let’s say you’re really hoping to meet up at your place, but you don’t want to say it directly. What would you do? You would probably hint for it in your texts, like “Oh, you’re a fan of the Arctic Monkeys? I have a limited-edition record at home, you should see it sometime.” In this case, you want the other person to initiate coming over to you.
Of course, you should still be clear (see above tip), but a bit of nudging while flirting won’t do any harm. However, this only shows that you should listen to the other person as much as you want them to listen to you. Flirting goes both ways.
Now you’ve read our top tips for flirting, you’re ready to go! Take it slow and make sure you feel comfortable and are having fun, that’s the most essential thing about flirting. If you aren’t enjoying yourself, you shouldn’t continue.
Be prepared to make mistakes and learn from them. Every person is different, so every person requires different flirting techniques. Listen to them and try out what you think is appropriate for the situation. But most importantly: have fun!